29/04/2011

The Dangers of Avoiding Responsibility

I have been half-watching the Royal Wedding, and was just driven to distraction by part of what was said to William and Kate by the Bishop of London.

No quote-marks, because I don't know the exact words, but something to the effect that:

Those who neglect the reality of God put too much weight on their partner. Followed with some blech about how God is the one who will sustain their relationship...

No. I'm sorry, Mr. Bishop; at least you aren't a Catholic, so you may actually have a wife, but you are talking out of your pointy hat on this one.
Responsibility for what happens in your relationship lies between you, and your partner. Not God, not your parents, not your friends, not the government, not the world.

Other people can influence you as an individual; they can influence your partner as an individual; but the connection between you and your partner is yours and his/hers alone. What is wrong with it is either your responsibility, your partner's responsibility, or an emergent property between the two of you. What is right with it is thanks to both of you.

Teaching people to pass the buck:
1) Infantilises them
2) Prevents them from actually sorting out the problem or problems
3) Prevents them from deservedly taking credit for what they actually get right.

Good work Bishop. Gah.

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